I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
