today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Omg I joined a choir last night...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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