i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize