so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
