I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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