omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
