Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
