Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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