Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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