she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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