It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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