Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
