Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my shit smells like andre
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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