It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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