Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize