if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
