Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
