She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
