Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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