bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
