at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
