Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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