Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize