What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
