im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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