You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
