I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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