I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
