I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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