I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
