I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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