Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
