Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
