Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
