I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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