you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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