I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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