We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
