I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
