i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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