come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
