fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
