The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
