It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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