gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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