I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
