You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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