dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize