im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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