pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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