Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
