but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
