i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
