Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
