Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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