Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
