I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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