he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize