idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you didnt know i had herpes?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
