you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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