the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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