I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize